Backslider

I write about my experience, as a Warning to others

Backslider

This is phrase you don’t hear about these days, not surprising when you consider the depths of depravity this world indulges in

I should know as I was more depraved than I would like to admit, even though I had recently surrendered all to Jesus, and was experiencing freedom far beyond description

This was after too many years of attempting to kick the habit which had by then turned into an addiction

Perhaps due to vanity or just weakness, I allowed myself to take control of my free will when I say “control” I ought to say Lack of control

I backslide and soon was overtaken by the addiction once again, it seems I had forgotten just how quickly you can get entangled and just how overpowering the effects on my mind were

My mind was quickly filled with demanding thoughts, leaving no room for any other thoughts, to the extent that I forgot everyday things I need to do

What little pleasure I gained was short lived and not satisfying at all, yet the urge to continue indulging became even stronger, snuffing out all of my creative thoughts

Leaving me unable to even start another story, until I confessed backsliding back into my porn addiction and knew that this needed to be my next story

Porn is the modern day updated version of Lust, porn poisons the mind filling it so completely, it leave no room and offers no release and certainly no freedom

Even if many may say they are exercising their free will, so they have found freedom, they as I are being deceived or lying to ourselves

Know this fellow Christians any addiction is really slavery binding us with stronger chains than can be imagined, I would rather be a servant to my savior

Than continue as a slave of addition and therefore sin!

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Christmas without Christ

This year of 2018 is fast on its way out and for many Christmas day is fading memory of opening presents and overindulging in all ways possible

Without a single thought to who this day would not be a day of celebration, for without Jesus Christ there would be no Christmas day

Whatever say you believe He was born, December 25^th or earlier in the year as Jehovah Witnesses teach, the day in the past was called the Mass of Christ

As the Hymn goes” Every day you give me breath I will sing your praises” so in effect every day can be Christmas day

Christmas day is way more than opening presents or even regretting spending too much money

Even though most people theses say Merry Christmas, it was and still should be a day of Celebrating the birth of Jesus

The singing of carols became an important part of Christmas, and in their way are praise songs, and even before the big day many churches held carol services

They also held street corner carol services as the Salvation Army has done for many years

Let us not grow cold or be persuaded to proclaim the good news of the extra special day, but instead, raise our voices in joy and hope and bring the spirit of joy and happiness to those who may not have yet heard the real reason for Christmas day

The Lost Sheep

The shepherd took great care of his flock of sheep keeping them from harm within the safety of the sturdy pen

The spring lambs now older by several months, still stayed close to their mothers from milk and warmth

All except one slightly older lamb who looked longingly at the greener looking grass outside of the pen, and as he was still young he was small enough to push himself through the gaps in the fencing

Feeling pleased with himself at escaping he scampered off enjoying this new found freedom

Stopping only briefly to much grass, which to his surprise did not taste any better

He moved swiftly onward in his freedom adventure, without any thought to any direction to go

As the day went on he glanced back but was unable to remember which was the way back home, he shuddered slightly but decided he was old enough to be on his own

He lay down awhile too rest and enjoyed the warmth of the sunshine, without meaning to he fell asleep until his body shuddered again only with the cold this time

As the day had turned to night while he was asleep, the increasing darkness brought a sense of fear and loneliness

The darkness increased until he could not see his way, so he lay down and huddled himself as small as he could, trying to convince himself he was snuggled next to his mother

Several days and long lonely nights past he had lost all sense of direction, and wandered aimlessly not realizing the ground where he was walking was crumbly until it gave away under his feet

He fell with the soil onto a small ledge with no hope of getting back up onto more solid ground

With the increased sense of hopeless, he bleated, again and again, when from a distance he heard a voice he knew, the shepherd was calling to him by name

Hope sprang into the lamb’s heart and he bleated as loud as he could, and soon the strong arm of the shepherd was lifting him up to safety

Holding the lamb in his arms close to the warmth of his body, the shepherd carried the lost sheep all the way back home, where gratefully the lamb snuggled next to his parents

Even When I Fail God

Even when I fail God, He never stops forgiving and loving me!

I am weak and You are Strong oh Lord, in my weakness you are my strength, You Lord lift me up when I have fallen.

You seek me when I am lost

You oh Lord are my friend when I am lonely, You oh Lord listen to me when I complain or grumble

You oh Lord have answered so many of my prayers, some even before I finish asking

You oh Lord are the potter, I am just the clay, mold me shape me, build me into what You would have me be

Let not my stubborn will or vanity distract me from Your loving presence

Take joy my King in what you hear, let my heart always sing praise to You, morning or night

Your presence and spirit fill my whole being that my small flickering light will shine as bright as the morning sun

Let No darkness remain within me, take everything not one thing will I withhold

I Surrender all, all my past, all my present, my free will I Surrender

Guide me, teach me, help me to listen, help me to learn

My life without You oh Lord was empty and as dry lifeless as the desert sands

Yet even the desert sands will blossom when You command it so

You oh Lord have given water to my parched soul, You have given my Joy when sadness held fast to my troubled heart

The Whisperer

He of the far-off old times, he the deceiver, the spinner of half-truths, and lies

The planter of doubts, the weaver of false stories, the instigator of myths and distractions

He waits in the shadows of himself and cunningly whispers in your ear, sowing the seed of doubt or dissatisfaction – frustration or anger

Fanning the flames of lust or envy, stirring up bitter memories from even long ago

Once he has sowed his seeds he returns often to fuel the fire of rage, to water the creeping vine of doubt, whispering other lies to add weight to his deception

Knowing full well that the more he persistently adds, the more likely he is to succeed in you falling away from the real truth

There were two young men full of hope and joy until the whisper spoke to them

He told the young man, “You will never know true happiness, unless you acquire great riches” then later he whispered “In this dog eat dog world, you must grab all you can, and let no man stand in your way, toss them aside anyone who stands in your destiny of being wealthy”

The second young mane the whisperer said “You are a failure, you have no friends and never will have, for you are to plainly dressed”

Later he whispered, “Go buy yourself fine clothes, and jewelry to adorn yourself with”

He also whispered “You deserve the finest, why wait go steal or cheat what is rightfully yours”

The Whisperer had sowed deep into the hearts of young men, and he fed off them both as the poison sped and they were enticed into darker and darker places

Both doing everything the whisperer had said and they grew hard-hearted and they even despised old friends for getting in their way

But it so happened their old friends were believers and offered a prayer for the two young men, and continued to uplift them in prayer

Until after many struggles both young men rededicated their lives to God, but you can be sure the whisperer will pursue them both even more now than before

Inventing new lies to tell or finding new distractions to entice them with

Be cautious of what you listen or let into your heart lest it deceives you. and you unwittingly feed the beast who would devour you

In our weakness

In our weakness, God becomes our strength
Through Joni’s disability and other sufferings, God has been glorified
Although Joni’s disability was an unimaginable disaster for a 17-year-old athletic young girl, yet God has used her to reach others with her story and encouragement, but far more Joni has shared her love of God and His love for her
Not diminishing Joni’s disability, but as she says herself, she would rather be in the wheelchair with God in her life

Than able-bodied living without God, disbelief would be a far greater disability

I personally miss the days when Joni sang and the recordings were transferred onto cassette tapes, I know she gave up singing so she could concentrate on preaching and spreading the word

I admire Joni for her faith and persistence and pray she may continue for many more years encouraging others to believe

The Story Teller

The Story Teller

Gather around for a while and allow me to unfold my story.

A wizened old man sat beneath a huge old tree, this is where he always sat, he was the last of the story tellers.
Nobody knew his name, he was just known as the story teller, and the tribe which was a mixture of young and old, sat eagerly awaiting him to begin speaking.
He looked deeply into the flames of the camp fire, as they flickered in a dance like motion.

“You have come to hear my stories as you have done for many years” he paused, they all nodded in agreement.
Yet, he continued, “There will come a time in the far off place, when there will be no one to tell these stories, but if there were nobody will care to listen not even children!”
The crowd gasped in disbelief that there could ever be such a time, for it had always been the way of things, everyone from the village would gather around the fire and wait for the storyteller.

The old man stared into the flames of the fire, sighed and spoke again, “The day will come in future days when people will other things that will consume their days in such a way that the telling of stories will be just a vague memory”

“Elders will not even remember the names of any of the stories they may have heard in the past and children will not want to listen or learn such things”
The crowd around the old man were silent in amazement, listening to every word he spoke, but finding it all hard to believe.

“In these dark days he continued, there will be no gatherings as there are here today, no meeting places , nor sharing as this place.
Their minds will become to numbed by other things, they lost the ability to imagine and the desire to speak to each other”
“Such is the power of the forces of evil, which will engulf them in such dismal darkness they will have no way to oppose it strength, my heart is heavy just even thinking of these days.”
“Sadder still is no-one will be aware of the way they have become and neither will they care, for they will will be lost without direction or purpose, without joy or hope, without love or compassion, without any belief or one to offer praise too”
The old man stopped speaking and stared back into the fire once again

No one in the crowd spoke, it was if they were holding their breath
The story teller who had been staring into the flames of the fire for some time now, lost in thought, he sighed deeply as if the cares of the world were upon him

Even though the crowd around him had been here since the beginning of the day, they remained silent and still no one questioned the length of time they had been there
His gaze lifted and he looked at them, I have told you this tale of days to come and you have listened well with much patience.

Although you have not asked, I know you will want to know of this place or how I know of these things
The way of my knowing was I had been fasting and my spirit drifted up on the wind of time, and showed me this strange place as it would be in future times, my spirit sank deeply at the sight of these things to come.

This world I saw was not here my friends, this place unlike anything I have ever seen before, yet I felt great sorrow for those who lived there in those days

My friends may never have know of this place and better if you do not, this world I saw is so far away from this land of ours, a place with no story tellers to be found,

I knew not the name of this place, but somehow I know it once possessed great beauty , and a race of people who used to love and care for this place where they lived

Then over time they became to care more for themselves and gaining many possessions and spending much of their time sitting hunched over glaring into strange box like objects, they had no glimmer of emotion in their eyes

I was glad to leave that place behind but still sad at the thought there was such a place, go now my brothers and never let the flame of desire to listen to stories died lest our world becomes like that place
He arose and turn away walking off away from the crowd, who now sighed with relief that where they lived was not the place he had spoken of in the story, the crowd dispersed and made their way back to thier homes

Then End