My Testimony

I decided rather than continue my “Who is Graham Commander” which turned out way long enough, I would do my testimony separate

It is my hope my testimony may help other Christians, to trust in the Lord who is patient

Years later before I got married, my lust addiction had already a tight firm grip over me, far stronger than I realised, as even when I wasn’t watching free porn my mind was so saturated with image from other days

I found it hard to clear my mind enough to focus on anything else, as for when I was lustfully looking at porn videos, even while one was playing, I was looking to the side at previews of other videos, enough was never enough

I had conveniently put my marriage vows to one side, so I could freely indulge in my lustful desires

This continued for far too many years, until hackers sent emails threatening to expose my lustful activities, along with atheists with negative comments on Christian videos

Yes, even though I was addicted to porn, I still used to watch mostly Christian music videos, but always read through the comments

Having found so many atheists comments, I decided to explore atheist video channels, which lead me into a even darker place

As they gave so what convincing reasons not to believe, when believing was my only hope lifeline of freedom

It wasn’t until I could bare the heavy burden of shame and the overpowering control of the addiction, I could not bare it no more

I bent down my knees in desperate prayer, “Lord have mercy for I am a sinner in need of forgiveness and freedom from my sexual sin addiction

Take back my free will, as I’m unable to control myself, and just abuse my free will to indulge

Praise God, He heard and answered my prayer, He forgave me and freed me from the tangled mess I had allowed myself into

The blessed peace and joy and love that came with my new heart. “Thank you Lord, I never want to go back into that dark place ever again”

For the first time in too many years, I began to be able to love my wife as I should and with the help of God’s Holy Spirit cleansing me daily and teaching me how to Love God first

Who is Graham Commander?

Even though his post is about me, not out of self vanity, but rather to as a personal testimony of faith in God

I was born in 1948, to my parents Philip and Hilda Commander, who were married in a local Christian church, Christ church

There I was christened and later on attended Sunday school, although I have no memory of

Time moved on and I started normal school, but the first school I attended, mum was not impressed at the level of teaching and moved me to a new school

Where I stayed for the rest of my educational days, back in those days every school day started with assembly, which included singing Hymes and daily Bible readings

The strange thing is they began the reading from Genesis, “In the beginning” I say strange now because thinking about it I wonder if they had always read from the first book throughout the history of the school,

Although unlikely as they continued book by book , in the process introducing me and other pupils to the important figures (heroes if you will)

Moses along with the Ten Commandments, David and Goliath , while these stories were always interesting and vivid, thinking about these stories now, God himself seemed to take a backseat within each story

Compared to the character of each person wrote about, God always seemed distant and unapproachable

But thinking again He was always there guiding His chosen people, who all to often disappointed, failed to follow instructions

So where do I fit into this story, as a young and eager listener, as I found reading hard and to stay focused on the actual words and not invent words that were not there, just because my mind told me there were

I think because I had a closer relationship with my mother than my farther, I found it hard to relate to God as a farther

My mother was a happy loving lady, who never as far as I can remember got cross or argued

As for my father, he did not suffer fools or foolishness, nor was he over patient

Back to my school day, the daily reading continued in progression through the Old Testament, onwards to the New Testament,

Where all the pupils including me, were introduced to Jesus, little knowing He was written about way before He was born in the Old Testament.

Jesus even from the early days of learning about Him, became more real to me than any other written about in the Bible

Time moves on too swiftly and I left school at 14, I left along with all those daily readings and hymen singing, but because of my mothers love of music

The love of music stayed in my life too, throughout far too many dark and troubled days of my own choosing, while seeking out self pleasures

To be continued …………

Bless The Lord

Bless the Lord for He has given us hope, in spite of all those who would silence Christian praise.

In site of the increasing restrictions on Chrisitans for preaching outside about homosexuality.

John Sherwood, 71, was led away in handcuffs, questioned in a police station and held overnight after being accused of making homophobic, when all John did was to qoute from the Bible defining marriage as a relationship between a man and a woman

Note: John is a preacher, and is active in preaching the Gospel in open air, it makes me wonder if someone from the gay community had been speaking out against Christians, using words like homophobic.

Would they have been arested for hate speech?

Probably not, as they would claim the right to freedom of speech

While Chrisitain churches have forced into performing same sex marrages by new laws, which takes away the freedom of choice

While Chrisitains believe God gave us all the freedom of choice, we also believe that we should not abuse that freedom by enslaving ourselves to our selfish sinful desires

Bless the Lord for He has given us hope, in dying for our sins, He has freed us from our sin and our enslavement and He has freed us from the law, for none of us has been able to keep any part of His law

Bless the Lord, Oh my Soul


I admit I’m guilty of being slapdash at times when it comes to washing up 

With the result that when knifes or forks and spoons are needed, then I or someone else notices little bits of left or food, which then involves rewashing them 

Which made me wonder if being slapdash is similar to lukewarm, as in the Bible says ‘I know your works: you are neither cold nor hot. Would that you were either cold or hot! So, because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out … 

As slapdash is not doing a thorough job of work, not really bothered enough to even inspect what you have done, just as lukewarm is similar in a way 

With a lack on eagerness to become motivated enough to be either hot or cold, passionate as on fire, or even cold indifference, and therefore remain neither one or the other 

I pray dear brothers and sisters in Christ, let us not be slapdash or lukewarm in our faith, rather let us be Bold and proclaim the gospel to everyone with on fire passion 

Be Still and Know that I Am God

A phrase you may have heard or read many times, but just how are we meant to put it into practice? 

Like many others, my mind is hardly ever still and nether am I, there is always something to do or think about, thoughts are buzzing around in my mind even at bedtime! 

It requires much focused effort on my breathing in order to fall asleep 

But “Be still and know that I am God” Psalm 46:10 it seems is more about the silence and stillness that ought to overtake us and take us into the presence of our Holy, Awesome, and Glorious God. 

God call us to stop being afraid, and trust Him for God is our refuge 

Why then do we worry and often become fearful, in situations beyond our control? 

Perhaps it’s because we rely on our own albites and inner strength, as individuals we all like our own way Therefore we become incapable of fully trusting God, as He exposes albites and strength as weaknesses 

Forgive me Lord, in my arrogance I too often underestimate your power, and view you to be weak as myself, help me to remember who you truly are, and contently remind me that I need not have any fear  

Easter Blessing to all Chistian readers


All of us are prone to put off everything until tomorrow, we use excuses as tools to procrastinate

Fuelled by our own laziness and dislike of any changes, can frequently spur us onto procrastination

I confess I dislike unexpected changes; it’s unsettling to find something you are comfortable with using, is suddenly changed often without warning  

There have been some changes, I have been grateful for, the main one having my sins forgiven and being freed from my addiction

I count myself fortunate to have a Saviour who is patient faithful enough to wait for me to acknowledge I was a slave to my addiction (sin) and in desperate need of His saving grace

As if I had procrastinated another tomorrow could have been too late, for me to admit my sin and that I needed His saving grace

Dear reader, if you have any sin you are still clinging onto, don’t put off confessing and asking for forgiveness, for tomorrow may be too late

Take it from me, wretched sinner that I am, nothing you enjoy and indulge in secret, will ever satisfy

Whatever sin you take pleasure in, will drag deeper into darker places

Enslaving you, make you blind to your sinfulness, it will rob you of peace and joy

Any love you once had, will become corroded, and corrupted beyond your understanding

Confess your sins, pray to Jesus to forgive you, ask Him to cleans you and made you a new creation

As to myself, I have freely given up my free will, rather than continue to missuse it, I would rather continue to be a sevent to Christ than a slave to sin

Christmas Blessings

I had meant to wite this just before the blessed day, but failed I will not make excuses as theses are a form of lying

Though this year has very restrictive with the unexpected virus and many hardships have followed in its wake

Even though and my family have been spared and remain healthy, I have felt downhearted

Especially leading up to Christmas day, to the point of not celebrating the special day

Then I decided not to allow the enemy to cast down my joy of knowing the Love of Jesus

I dug out the Christmas tree from its stored place and decorated it with many brand-new lights

 As a symbol of hope and shed its light on the dark winter’s nights

With each small light reminding of the many other Christians all around the world singing and prising God, for His love and the Grace offer by Jesus

My blessing to all who read and share this, is May your hearts be filled with Joy and true Love

May you all find peace in the mist of troubled times, and the true comfort of God

No Real Self-control

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From personal experience I found that self-control is not a possibility

At lest with the old self, as expecting the old self to discipline itself, is unlikely to happen

For the old self is Self-cantered, Selfish and wants only its own way, Self-indulgence

The only way to gain self-control, was by dying to my old self, and asking God to transform me into a new creation

Once I was born again, and I was free of my old self, and all my sins I had committed due to my self-indulgence

As a new born child of God, I found His comfort and peace, was amazing and far better than the false freedom my old self offered

Which turned out to be no freedom at all, rather it quickly turned into slavery through addiction

At my darkest point I had no rest from images that flooded my mind, even when I could sleep, they danced around in my dreams, taunting my relentless

Whereas becoming a new creation child of God, and all that has taken place since, has been beautiful and amazing

That Jesus willing suffered and died such a cruel death, so my sins could be forgiven, is beyond my wildest imagination, that He loved me even though I had strayed so far from Him

I would rather become a servant for Christ, than have remained a Slave of lust

Every day He gives me breath, I will sing His praises

How Much Sin are You Carrying Around?

From my own experience of how easy it is to accumulate sin, because in my case I didn’t think of it as sinning

Just pleasing myself, but there lays the problem, “SELF” that illusive hidden part of human nature

Illusive and hidden, because it is hard to pinpoint exactly where it is situated within our bodies

While fooling us into thinking whatever sin we are doing is harmless and even part of the human nature

But since sinning is way too easy and briefly pleasurable, we tend not to notice how clings to us, and will begin to demand attention

“SELF” is never satisfied, enough is Never enough! One sin will lead to another, even if it’s not the same sin, although it will be when you begin sinning

As the sin will become habit forming, most times without you noticing, the more you feed SELF, the deeper and darker sinning it will lead you into

While doing so every sin will linger within you adding weight to the sins you have already

Unlike dirt and grime that can be wash off your hands or body when you bathe, Sin sticks and accumulates

Along with this unseen and unpleasant problem, all sins will rob you of any peace or rest, as they grow in strength, they become more demanding  

They will plague every moment throughout your day, and continue to weaken your resistance to indulge  

While you may want or need to give up what started as a bad habit, using your willpower, will be unsuccessful, and you will find slipping back into Sin all too easy

In order to stop sinning you need to Die to Self, by confessing all your sins and praying for forgiveness.

For as long as Self remains, you will be enslaved, you will be worshipping your-Self (a false god)

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Even if,

Even if, I am unable prove there is a Creator God

Even So, I will Praise Him

Even if, this life was all there was

Even So, I will Live for Him alone

Even if, I could never enter into Heaven

Even So, I will Rejoice

Even if, Jesus was a fictional character, as atheists say

Even So, I Know He Lived and Died for us All

Even if, many may mock and call me names

Even So, I care not for what men may say

I know my saviour lives, He lives within my heart

No one can ever sway my belief in Jesus and His saving Grace

There is no power on earth that can alter even one moment of my rebirth

No one or spirit can take away the Joy my Lord has graciously given me

Jesus gave me freedom from that old self, that once enslaved me

Praise You my soul for You are Worthy of all Praise

Every day you give me breath I will sing Your Praises