The Darkest of All Days

If the day ever dawned that I gave up believing and became an atheist, that would be for me the darkest day

If they finally convinced me that Jesus was not a real person or that his whole life was just another biblical fairy story, for me to give up a lifelong friend as he became to me would be unbearable and this would be the darkest of all days 

Although atheist would say it was a bright day, as I would be now free to start living life the way in which it should live uncluttered and unrestricted by religion

While there is a certain appeal to the idea of being able to please oneself, self-indulgence is mostly a short lived with far reaching consequences

At least the pleasure side of self-indulgence is short lived, the after affects are all too often longer lasting, as bad habits are easily formed from self-indulgence

Habits that grow in silent strength quickly overtaking any self-control, rendering us incapable of resisting, until the point of no return when we become addicted

I find it hard to imagine what my life would be like without religion, my faith my belief my prayers will be heard and answered

If I were to give up my faith, I know I would be filled with sorrow, for there would be no reason for singing praise songs, which have become a big and precious part of my life as they were for those who wrote them in the past

I often hear “there is no after life or heaven, just this one life” while this makes also me sad but not for the reasons they who say such thing might expect

As I doubt I would qualify as a faithful servant, but it would be enough for me to meet face to face with Jesus even if he turn me away

But not getting to live forever and dwell in heaven is not my saddest thought, but my deepest sadness would not be able to comfort my family once I die and even if I lived in paradise this regret well may haunt me

While I realize that religions often give rise to misunderstanding which may then lead to misguided followers to do evil things, this fact alone could be enough to persuade me to give up my own faith beliefs

This however would require a lot more convincing than mere words can affect me, it would also mean putting aside all of my past experiences

Even thinking about this fills me with utter despair, I can’t even imagine what my life would be like without Jesus – without the praise songs – without prayer and the assurance if answers


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