A Closer Walk With Thee

A closer walk with thee, is the title of a well known spiritual song going back many years in pop music industry and a song that has been sung by many singing artists

As Christians we are called to grow more like Christ as we are followers of Christ

Meanwhile the rest of the world is speeds off in all sorts of directions, (away from God) the directions include creating humanised robots, such as the much published Artificial Intelligence Robot Sophia (“godhead” simulation

While scientists have been desperately trying to get ageing process to be recognised as a disease and who is striving for eternal life by working to find a cure or at least slow the ageing process down

At some point soon the will attempt to redesign our DNA, (if they haven’t already started tampering

As with other forms of genetic tampering the likelihood of mutants is surly a strong possibility

The X-Men film characters come to my mind as they were all mutants, although a fictional film perhaps it’s a foretaste of humans future if DNA tampering continues

Saul who later became Paul came to believe that Christ rising from the dead was the greatest of all miracles, which also promised us Life eternal

Meanwhile the supposed Mother church is so reinventing it’s teaching, it may soon become unrecognisable, it has already agreed with the world Adam & Eve story is fictional

While busily encouraging and embracing other religions in an attempt to bring in a one world acceptable belief

The mother church has now accepted evolution as fact, but under Gods direction, all of these things make me wonder if the mother church has become aware of their power of authority slipping away from them, so they are now struggle to regain control by appealing to the masses

So what of present day Christians? Are we to become so tarnished by the world that Christ is not seen through our very being?

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Mental Breakdown

Before I begin this story, the mental breakdown happened many years ago, but I promise I would write about the experience

I will have to rely on my memory for the order of how it happened including events, other details are a little vague

I was still working and it was shortly after I had meet up with my future wife, somehow the notion of there being many ways / paths that would lead to God buzzed around in my head

I think that idea had been around many years ago but at this time was being revived as it it is in this present age

At that time there were no home computer, and I was yet to discover my passion for writing, as I no longer need to use handwriting it had fallen out of use

So I turned to sketchy drawings to put on paper my thoughts, which turned into a picture storyboard , I vaguely remember some of the images but unsure how long this story was

Sometime later I was in my father’s work-shed and quoted “The three rings of truth” no idea why or what I meant
I also had a vivid dream with Carol and her mum in, but the details have faded now
I also frequently visited a large old church in the middle of the Bull Ring Birmingham, and at least on occasion I ran my hands over carved headstones – but why is now forgotten memory and a mystery

I think after the dream, a ambulance arrived at our house and I was taken to a mental hospital because of the mental breakdown

Although I didn’t see it that way, to me I believed it was God’s will and He had prepared my for this event through my drawing story.

The fact that I was taken to a mental hospital, didn’t bother me as the light-shades were similar colour to the light in my thoughts on one of my drawings
So I knew I was where I was meant to be, and continued thinking that way, until I became self-conscious when a Muslim lady gesture for me to pray with her using cupped hands

Then my thoughts of doing God’s will by being there, were shaken and living there was never the same afterwards
I’m unsure how long I remained there, I just know when I finally came back home to my parents I found it so hard to settle back into normal family life

I felt totally empty and none of pleasures from my past helped, they were just shadows impossible to even grasp hold of
I also felt uncomfortable being around my parents and started going out anywhere just to avoid being at home, at some point thoughts of ending my life invaded my mind

With such force and repetition I became unable to shake the compulsion to kill myself, but all of the methods that I had heard of seemed far to brutal
I will not go into details of the method I eventually used in my attempt to kill myself, enough to say as I stood gasping for breath I suddenly realised I was fighting to live and didn’t want to die then all thoughts of suicide left me and I went inside to get a drink of water no doubt looking pale and drained

After that day I began appreciating normal day things and giving praises for being alive and for being given a second chance to live the life God had planned out for me

Where were you in my hour of need?

In your darkest hour of need, I was there to be your light to guide your way

In your deepest depression, I was there to lift you up and give you my endless joy

In your sorrow and grief, I was there to comfort you and hold you as my child that you are

In your loneliness, I was there to be your friend and share my deepest love beyond all understanding

When hatered surrounded you, I offered you my love so rich that even the memory of hate would dissolve away

When you were poor, I offered you my abundances so you would not lack for nothing

When you were lost and strayed far away, I came in search of you to guide you back home to me

In your foolishness, I was patient and with love greater than your earthly farther

In your youthful defiance, when you search for your own way, I was waiting to guide you back to my path

When you were disappointed, I wanted to give you all that you might be satisfied

In every hour of every day, every moment of time I was there for you

In all your life, I have been there for you, to carry you when weary, to love you unconditionally

When you reached out for me, I reached down to you and brought you to myself and held you tightly

But …..

Where were you when they whipped my body?

Where were you there when they crucified me on the tree?

Where were you there when they pierced me in the side?

Where were you when all my followers abandoned me?

Where were you in my hour of need?

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Mental Breakdown

Before I begin this story, the mental breakdown happened many years ago, but I promise I would write about the experience

I will have to rely on my memory for the order of how it happened including events, other details are a little vague

I was still working and it was shortly after I had meet up with my future wife, somehow the notion of there being many ways / paths that would lead to God buzzed around in my head

I think that idea had been around many years ago but at this time was being revived as it it is in this present age

At that time there were no home computer, and I was yet to discover my passion for writing, as I no longer need to use handwriting it had fallen out of use

So I turned to sketchy drawings to put on paper my thoughts, which turned into a picture storyboard , I vaguely remember some of the images but unsure how long this story was

Sometime later I was in my father’s work-shed and quoted “The three rings of truth” no idea why or what I meant

I also had a vivid dream with Carol and her mum in, but the details have faded now

I also frequently visited a large old church in the middle of the Bull Ring Birmingham, and at least on occasion I ran my hands over carved headstones – but why is now a mystery

When this next part happened I’m unsure I think after the dream, a ambulance arrived at our house and I was taken to a mental hospital because of the mental breakdown

Although I didn’t see it that way, to me I believed it was God’s will and He had prepared my for this event through my drawing story.

The fact that I was taken to a mental hospital, didn’t bother me as the light-shades were similar colour to the light in my thoughts on one of my drawings

So I knew I was where I was meant to be, and continued thinking that way, until I became self-conscious when a Muslim lady gesture for me to pray with her using cupped hands

Then my thoughts of doing God’s will by being there, were shaken and living there was never the same afterwards

I’m unsure how long I remained there, I just know when I finally came back home to my parents I found it so hard to settle back into normal family life

I felt totally empty and none of pleasures from my past helped, they were just shadows impossible to even grasp hold of

I also felt uncomfortable being around my parents and started going out anywhere just to avoid being at home, at some point thoughts of ending my life invaded my mind

With such force and repetition I became unable to shake the compulsion to kill myself, but all of the methods that I had heard of seemed far to brutal

I will not go into details of the method I eventually used in my attempt to kill myself, enough to say as I stood gasping for breath I suddenly realised I was fighting to live and didn’t want to die then all thoughts of suicide left me and I went inside to get a drink of water no doubt looking pale and drained

After that day I began appreciating normal day things and giving praises for being alive and for being given a second chance to live the life God had planned out for me

Once Upon a Star

Once upon a star, not just any ordinary star, this was a one of a kind unique star
A star like no other before it and since, to be the brightest shining star ever created
The light radiated so bright it could be seen for miles, even in far off countries
Helping those who searching in the night sky as a sign of a holy child who would put to shame this brightness of stars
For this star was created for a special purpose, to announce the birth of a child, a long awaited Holy child, born in humble dwellings

The bright star guided three kings who had long searched to night skies, eagerly awaiting a sign in the sky such as this bight guiding star

Leading them onwards to witness fro themselves the birth of the most special child to ever be born

That same night there were humble shepherds who knew nothing of this miraculous event, until they were told by an angel, the shepherds now also followed that most brightest of all stars

This child although ordain to be the king of kings, was to be born in a humble manger with no fine clothing as would befit the expected son of God

Even so all who beheld this child fell to their knees in worship, for even now they could see his glory and bore witness to his holiness

So it was on the very first Christmas day, may we always remember who it was that was born on this day and strive to celebrate his birth upon this day

May you all have a Blessed time rejoicing the birth of our Savior

Oh To Be Holy

I recently read a blog post about obeying and pleasing God as two separate parts of the same process of becoming Holy

However it was unclear about just how one becomes holy, was becoming holy the end result of partaking in obedience and therefore getting to know God and then being able to please Him

The process starting with accepting Jesus as Lord and Savior, by obeying the commandments, which Jesus simplified when asked replied “You shall love the lord your God, with all your heart and soul and love your neighbor as yourself”

We might think reducing the number of commandments, down to two should make our lives a whole lot easier, but that wasn’t what Jesus intended

But He was just pointing out if we obeyed theses two then we would also obey all the others without extra effort

But “how do we love God?” By obeying first, and then seeking to please Him, by getting to know God on a personal level

A personal God was something Einstein could not bring himself to accept

It is said another part of holiness is to practice self control, although somewhere else self control is said to be part of the fruits of the spirit, along with patience and goodness

Self control is not something we humans willing do or find easy at all

We are to die to self when we invite Jesus into our lives, and from one of the older commandments “Judge not lest you be judged” which we would not do if we love others as ourselves

Buddha is said to have attempted to gain a higher level of self through self control, but never it seems never searched for God or believed there was a God

Although he believed in nirvana a state of peacefulness or a place of perfect peace and happiness, much like heaven.

I wonder did Buddha consider himself to being holy?

According the the internet, Buddha did not believe in any kind of god (which ought to please atheists) Buddhists believe everything is changeable. What exists is changeable and what is not changeable does not exist

So perhaps that’s why he didn’t even consider believing in GOD, as God is immortal and never changing

Anger – Frustration and the Power of Stillness

Anger had been welling up inside of me all day, or that’s the way it seemed at the time.I knelt on the floor intending to complain or even argue with God, I could feel my anger and frustration welling up demanding to be set free

Although if someone was to ask me now why I was so angery, I could not say or remember.

All I recolect is I felt I might explode and could continue no longer, so I knelt on the floor intending to complain or even argue with God, I could feel my anger and frustration welling up demanding to be set free

My body shivered not just with the cold of the night air, but also the powerful force of my anger, as I opened my mouth to speak I hear the words “Be still”

I found unable to speak as a quietness spread over me like a velvet blanket, enveloping me in such an indescribable peace, my hand tenderly held as I journeyed into the very presence of God

My anger and frustration began to float out of me, rising as steaming water, no longer bothering my mind or soul – no longer mine to cling onto

Quietly at first sweet music played from a distance, gradually it came closer or perhaps it was I that moved, whichever it was soon it enveloped me so complete my body – my soul rose up with the increasing crescendos

Entering into such beauty – such wholeness surrounded I lost self-awareness so completely

I became just a tiny speck of this immense oneness, this experience was beyond feelings or anything I could have ever imagined

As there was no sense of time, I could not how long I remained there, but I hope the memory will linger on and remain with me for the rest of my life

Slowly after what seem forever, my spirit descended back into my body which shivered once more, for it had missed my spirit and jolted at its arrival

This empty shell my body which the Holy Spirit of God had given as one of many gifts, for now I appreciated all of those gifts as I had never before

I was now so full of unexplainable joy I could not help myself and burst into praise songs, with such force my body shook once again, and trembled with the awesome power that still linger within me

All that frustration and anger that had so tortured my mind and body were but a faded and distant memory, replaced by this sweet gentle and wonderful peaceful love.

Even though my body and mind now told me to rise, I didn’t want to leave even though I was now aching, reluctantly I whispered Amen.

I arose stiffly from my kneeling and stretched and once more raised my voice in praise, turning away left my room to return to what would never quite be normal life again