Bitter Sweet Battle of Emotions

It’s been a while since I wrote on my blog, having started this tile seems to express both my feeling and struggle to let God stay in control

It’s been 7 weeks since my wife Carol had been admitted into hospital, then Thursday 9th March the ambulance brought her back home

While we were both jubilant at the home coming, neither of us released just how poor her balance was, although the hospital recommended a rehabilitation center in Sheldon

Which we declined as the long distance away from our home, we both hoped that being at home would be the best place to recover

However this was not the case and we were persuaded to allow Carol to return to Heartlands hospital on Friday 10th

All of one day and night at home, to add salt to the wound of disappointment, it seems the hospital are reluctant to keep Carol in as she is physically fit to their thinking

So this leaves me to regret turning down the rehab in Sheldon, and feeling angry with myself for not asking God or accepting it might be His will

Which now seems as I will have to reluctantly have to accept my wife going there

But now it seems we may not be able to do this as Carol is in a different ward (department)

With different rehab staff in charge who may decide differently and I have no way of knowing until tomorrow, and only if they decide to contact me

Sadly I let my emotions get the better of me and now I regret that and not trusting God to sort things out (which I regret even more)

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Blessing in Disguise

Over the years I have had many answers to prayer, although not always the answer I asked for, as they say “God doesn’t always give us what we want, but always gives us what we need”

This was the case recently when I was praying my wife would stop having convulsions, as the day was turning out to be one of the worst days she had in years

Seizure after seizure throughout the day, until the evening time when I had given up hope that my prayers would be answered

Despondently I rang 999 and paramedics came and took my wife to Heartlands A&E, where she has been for nearly two weeks now

My wife’s recovery has been a little mixed, some days much better and others, so it looks as if she will be staying in hospital another week

Visiting the hospital back and forth is arduous and expensive as I use a taxi there and back, as bus service would take long and involve two both ways

I can’t say that life as a career has been easy, but being without Carol at home is far worse, as I miss her infectious smile and laughter, as its music to my soul

I had a lot of response when I commented on Facebook about what happened, many people we know commented and offered prayers and good wishes

You may well be wondering by now where the “Blessing in Disguise” come into this

Let me explain, for too many years some of the medication that Carol takes on a daily basis has given her confused thinking and changeable moods

Which the local doctors prescribed yet another tablet, (Psychotropic medication) which was for her (mental condition) so I was told

Since Carol had been admitted into a different hospital they reviewed the medication and removed using the medication that had been causing that problem

Hence the blessing in disguise, when I realized this was the answer to prayer we needed I gave praise to God and continue to do so and trust in the healing power of God

WordPress update

I’m not sure when it happen that WordPress update the comments within the admin section, from the left side where it was before to tthe right hand side

As the writer of this blog I am still getting notice email when there is a new comment waiting for my approval

But following the link given in those email, does not take me to where I can approve them, plus I am unable to even see any comments unless I go to preview of my posted story

In order to see any comment now you need to click on the small bell image on the top right, but I found I can only “Like” and not approve!

Which is why I am writing this to ask if any other blogger using WordPress is having this problem and what you think about this unannounced update

If it was announced  I for one missed seeing it, but I would like feedback for other blog writers, and I apologize in advance for any delay in approving comments

Unconditional Love

Love can be the most emotional experience we can get involved in, it is way too easy to use the phrase “I love you” especially towards someone close related

How about unconditional love? Can we even image such love? Especially when this love is extended to those who irritate or even hateful

Do those type of people deserve any kind of love, let alone unconditional love?

But by saying this, we are being judgemental in other words saying we are better than others

It’s a sad fact that all humans too easily see the faults of others while ignoring our own

So it’s a case of removing the log from our eyes, before attempting to remove a speck from someone else’s eye

I know I have at least on irritating habit (I’ve been told) which I ignore most the time, and so I know there are many sins in my life that I stubbornly cling too, that not only blind me but also bind me

Grieving the Holy Spirit instead of allowing it to cleans and transform me into the person God wants me to become

We can all experience unconditional love by accepting the free gift of forgiveness offer by God through the ultimate sacrifice of Jesus dying for our sins

Not just one sin, but all sins of everyone in the world past and present and if that thought does not overwhelm your mind, it should do

As Christians we are called to love one another and forgive those who trespass against us, by doing so we will demonstrate a small and beginning part of unconditional love

By giving this kind of love, as the children’s song goes “Love is something if you give it away, Give it away give it away.  Love is something if you give it away. You end up having more

Extraordinary – Story Retold

Long ago and far away there were two ordinary everyday people, at least they thought themselves ordinary until the extraoridinary events that unfolded afte they meet
Joseph was a much respected member of the community by hardworking carpenter by trade, while Mary was a young girl who had already devoted her life to serve God
She prayed regularly, and she was always willing to obey
This is their story and how all the events unfolded, Joseph was summoned by Mary’s father to do carpentry work for him as he had heard how skilled a workman Joseph was
So it was Joseph set off towards where Mary lived he took with him just the needed tolls for the job, and Mary’s father had ordered the timber
Mary was attracted to the 21 year old handsome carpenter even before she knew his name, while Joseph was impressed by Mary’s devotion to serve God, and found her to be of a pleasant and good nature
As the job involved several months of work Joseph remained as the honoured guest of Mary’s father
Overtime their admiration for each other grew in strength into love for each other and because of this Mary’s father had decided that they should be married
So he was Joseph and Mary were married and while Mary was praised god for marriage and new life
God spoke to her and revealed his plan for her, Mary was to be the chosen one to give birth to his son the Messiah
While Mary took the unexpected news with her normal modest unquestioning manner,

Joseph was more than a little taken aback by the news
After all he was only a newlywed husband and had certainly not expected Mary to announce that she was soon to be with child
He was confused and bewildered for he knew this was not his child, but he could not find it in his heart to doubt Mary when she had told him, this child was to be the son of God
Still dazed Joseph retired to bed on his own, with doubts and thoughts dancing around in his head
As he lay down unable to sleep, an angel of the lord spoke to him “Do not trouble your mind, your wife Mary speaks the truth, she will give birth to God’s Son and you shall call him Emanuel”
Then Mary joined Joseph who embraced her lovingly and they both fell asleep
The following day they had to travel many miles back to Joseph’s home town, and due to the census the little town was full, and so Joseph and Mary were required to accept an oxen stall
Where the son of God was to be born, before He was born there was to be a heralding shining star to guide three kings from the far East and humble shepherds who would worship the new extraordinary child
So it was on that night of night’s Jesus was born to Mary and Joseph, and although many years have passed since that holly night, we all should give thanks and praise that our saviour was born
For without Jesus Christ there would be no Christmas day
We need to rejoice as the shepherds and kings and all the angels rejoiced

The Day Beyond Tomorrow

Continuation of the Last Christmas story, and the affect effects on everyone

I recommend you read that story first if you have not done so already

This addition is how life is through the eyes of someone knows only the present life, in this new world there are only two classes, servants and masters (those who stored up wealth and information on what happened so they could acquire their new status 

Based on the illuminati taking over world control

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I don’t know why I am complied to write this, or who I write this for, and I have little time to write

Furthermore I don’t know where I got the skill from as I am one of the many inferior class

We don’t even own the sparse clothing we wear the master provide and we were not created to have any skills other than faithfully serving our masters, our masters created us servant class to make their lives free from the day to day chores

My identifying tag isIT3005 I am uncertain why I tell you this as I am of little importance or real worth, as I have been frequently told by my master

We are told we were only created by the masters to become slaves for them, but they allowed to become their servants

Perhaps I write and explain things for my own sake, except I have no experience of pleasure, as our masters deemed it unnecessary

We are not allowed to talk except for answering a master question if they chose to lower themselves to talk to us, which is not often most times they just give their orders

We are expected to carry out those orders without question, silently obeying

All of the masters live in huge houses where we are only allowed to enter into when we are summoned to perform some duty and then we swiftly leave and return to our sheds

Where we allowed share the space of the sheds with all the other animals, if the masters decide we are too foul smelling to be allowed indoors we have to bathe within rain water barrels

Regular worship by the masters is held in private, we are not even allowed to know where they go, as we are unworthy creatures, we are only required to help them dress in preparation but have to leave afterwards

We servants have no understanding of what worship is, as it is only for the masters and therefore we don’t need to know

We are not even allowed to see our master leaving the house, we are not allowed to know who or what they worship or where they go to

Every servant has to accept our life as to the masters, without question or complaint as these are punishable crimes

When I am allowed to sleep strange thoughts and images trouble my mind, and sometimes linger on throughout my working day, but as I am always kept busy with little time for trying to make sense of dreams or thoughts

I will give praise to you oh! Lord

Let men say what they will about me, I care not for their empty praise or slanderous remarks

For with every breath even my dying breath I will give praise to you oh Lord

Even though I’m still a vile sinner I shall not allow them to speak ill of you oh Lord

I shall raise my voice against all who deny you or utter deceitful words against you

Whatever lies they spin or false teaching they preach against you

I will speak of your love your passion your sacrifice, whether they listen or not

Whether they believe my words or not, even if they threaten my very life in attempts to persuade me to disown you

I may falter in my human weakness and for a moment be taken in by their lies and twisting of the truth, but as for me I have known you from the days of my youth

When you became a much needed friend, someone who knew me better than I knew myself

I was drawn to you as you touch my heart with your compassionate love, not once did you chastise or rebuke me even though I strayed far from you in my later years

Never once did toss me to one side, but with much patience you came in search of me refusing to forsake me

Ready to comfort me when life became unbearable, ready to uplift me with your love when I became lonely, to fill me with your joy when I became sorrowful

As you reached out to me time after time in the darkest of places, where I had foolishly allowed myself to become entangled in my arrogance

Then late one night while I was asleep, you reached out to me reminding me of your love for me, filling my very soul with such joy I could not contain it within and awoke with joyous laughter

How could I have forgotten the depth of your love, the sublime peace, the exquisite joy, the richness?

Even though this lasted for a short moment of our time, I knew it was but a brief foretaste of the glory of your kingdom

Whatever the rest of my days hold in store for me, I must share this and declare that Jesus Christ is my Lord and Saviour and my dearest friend

Psalm 150:6 Let everything that has breath praise the LORD.