Anger had been welling up inside of me all day, or that’s the way it seemed at the time.I knelt on the floor intending to complain or even argue with God, I could feel my anger and frustration welling up demanding to be set free
Although if someone was to ask me now why I was so angery, I could not say or remember.
All I recolect is I felt I might explode and could continue no longer, so I knelt on the floor intending to complain or even argue with God, I could feel my anger and frustration welling up demanding to be set free
My body shivered not just with the cold of the night air, but also the powerful force of my anger, as I opened my mouth to speak I hear the words “Be still”
I found unable to speak as a quietness spread over me like a velvet blanket, enveloping me in such an indescribable peace, my hand tenderly held as I journeyed into the very presence of God
My anger and frustration began to float out of me, rising as steaming water, no longer bothering my mind or soul – no longer mine to cling onto
Quietly at first sweet music played from a distance, gradually it came closer or perhaps it was I that moved, whichever it was soon it enveloped me so complete my body – my soul rose up with the increasing crescendos
Entering into such beauty – such wholeness surrounded I lost self-awareness so completely
I became just a tiny speck of this immense oneness, this experience was beyond feelings or anything I could have ever imagined
As there was no sense of time, I could not how long I remained there, but I hope the memory will linger on and remain with me for the rest of my life
Slowly after what seem forever, my spirit descended back into my body which shivered once more, for it had missed my spirit and jolted at its arrival
This empty shell my body which the Holy Spirit of God had given as one of many gifts, for now I appreciated all of those gifts as I had never before
I was now so full of unexplainable joy I could not help myself and burst into praise songs, with such force my body shook once again, and trembled with the awesome power that still linger within me
All that frustration and anger that had so tortured my mind and body were but a faded and distant memory, replaced by this sweet gentle and wonderful peaceful love.
Even though my body and mind now told me to rise, I didn’t want to leave even though I was now aching, reluctantly I whispered Amen.
I arose stiffly from my kneeling and stretched and once more raised my voice in praise, turning away left my room to return to what would never quite be normal life again